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Why I Write…

"I want to strip the flesh from spirit. I want to write the songs that people sing that inspire them to be fearless." quote from Manchild
Why do I write and recite words? To attempt to breathe meaning and significance from my fragile soul to the front porch of fellow humans habitat so they can eat my raps and say mmmm good. For the connection we all long for. To capture and invigorated moment of time. I try and write poetic expressions of human realities of questing for meaning, for God and for love. I write from my human being perspective seeking awareness of the great 'I am that I am' Being. I write to create space with english vocabulary and syntax structure for our beings to more fully be with the Being of all beings. Metaphors, imagery, word play to wake up our sleepy souls from numb existence to dance in the beautiful fields of discovery where sorrow and joy grow together like dandelions and clovers to enhance our connection to the great Being and stoke our fires of wonder and awe so to be purified by all the gifts we are able to touch, see, smell, taste and hear. I wrote to provoke mystical experiences with my ink stick to meditate on fascinating ways of the lily, the extraordinary event of photosynthesis, and the potency of the Nazarene servant king. I want to write to inspire…. Could I write anonymous like the Cloud of Unknowing author or do I need my name to be known by a few people?I write to responsibly Emajyn the goodness that will be with my stories and song. Why do you write?

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“Bring it on Back” – Anomie Preview

Bring It On Back by Inkre:Mentals  
Download now or listen on posterous

03 Bring it on Back.mp3 (5955 KB)

Here's a little sample of the upcoming Inkre:Mentals album titled Anomie – coming out in Fall 2010!  The song's called "Bring it on Back" and its rough mix that we're giving away – so think of it like getting free wi-fi from your neighbor :)   The digital signal might not be so great but hey, the price is right and you can still get the goods.  …But unlike getting free wi-fi from your neighbor, you are welcome and encouraged to tell us about your experience.  Thanks and enjoy.

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Live Collaboration! April 8, 2010 – LoveIsConcrete.com

We will be doing a series of live, online, collaborative events that we would like you to be involved in. The first event will be Thurs April 8, 2010 from 7pm to 10pm Pacific Time. More details to come. We will be combining multiple online tools including Sneffel.com, Ustream, and Love is Concrete. If you haven’t joined or played in these environments, we highly recommend it! Join us online April 8 and April 22.

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Birthday, Belief, and Faith

Belief: A mental construct or conclusion on reality

Faith: The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen

My 28th birthday was on Sunday and it felt like I hit bottom on a two-week slide of self-loathing.  Here’s the day everyone wants to sing songs to me, look me in the eye and give encouraging words, wish me blessings on the upcoming year, and I want to get away to avoid the healing pain of reality.   It’s hard to hear a bunch of loving words that you don’t agree with.  I’m thinking either these people have no idea who I am OR more likely, I have no idea who I am.

There are holes in my faith that have been drilled with diamond tipped false-beliefs and it became obvious when my brother Jesse spoke truth to me and I didn’t believe what he was saying but I had faith that he was speaking truth.  I didn’t believe I could handle being celebrated on Sunday… (in faith) I showed up to our gathering called the Bridge, two after parties, and later went to work.  The outcome was I made it though and I’m sitting in front of a drawing board of identity squinting to see the lines.  Jesus tells us to seek first the kingdom of righteousness – he also says we will move mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed.  How’s it going?

That’s a question I’ve dreaded answering lately is “How’s it going?”  I’d rather not bring people down, so I have practiced padded answers that divert the focus of the conversation to something/someone else, benefiting nobody.  There is a prophetess in our community that I unsuccessfully tried to avoid on Sunday because I knew that she could look deep into my soul, listen beyond my padded answer, and crush my heart with truth that I both crave and fear.  Deborah grabs my arm and asks, “How’s it going?”  I give her a padded “OK” (instantly felt like my cover was blown) – and the truth finally comes out, “I’m really uncomfortable with the confusion in my life right now.”  …you have no idea how good it felt to say this out loud to another person!  With a smile she says, “Good, this is good for you right now.”  I take a breath and let the message sink in – one false belief I harbored was that my confusion is a bad thing.

If you’re lost, isn’t it better to know you’re lost rather than stumble blindly deeper into darkness?  Isn’t it better to admit being confused and open to direction?  The man who doesn’t believe he’s sick will refuse a visit to the doctor.

We need people in our lives to speak truth to us when we believe the lies.  We need faith in order to receive their words (despite whether or not we believe them).  The people in your life are mirrors to see yourself in.  I’m thankful to all the mirrors that reflect the image of God that we were created in so I can remember from where I came. A super special thanks goes out to my friends and family who helped redeem my birthday this year and give back a part of me that was lost.

-Thanks for reading – comments about faith and belief, false-beliefs, or on struggles celebrating yourself are much appreciated.  Bless Bless

- Justin

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